Perhaps the only person getting in the way of your desires is you.
You think, I’m not supposed to do that. What if I fail? What if I people laugh at me? What if people are jealous? What if people think I’m greedy? I don’t want to make others feels bad. If I really did what I want, that would be selfish. I need to devote myself to my kids, to my job, to the earth, to my religion, to my spouse, instead.
It’s not your fault, or any one individual’s fault. We internalize so many of these messages as we grow up, so many cultural memes that are passed down out of sheer habit and tradition.
It’s not that dedication to others is a problem, or mutually exclusive from personal fulfillment. But are you holding yourself back from thriving and flourishing? Don’t others want that for you? Don’t we want everyone to flourish?
What if we lived in a world in which each person adamantly pursued his/her desires and needs? After all, is it ultimately anyone else’s responsibility – let alone is it even possible for anyone else – to make you happy?
Here’s another angle (15’): when your (future) kid exclaims how he wants to pursue his dreams, will you react with, “ I had a dream once too, but I was afraid…” Or will it be “Go for it, kid! Just like I did.”
Permit yourself to go for it. Give yourself permission to be happy.
Give yourself permission to say no. Give yourself permission to fail.
Give yourself permission to not do stuff you hate.
Give yourself permission to earn money. Give yourself permission to rest.
Give yourself permission to live free.
Give yourself permission to shoot for the moon. Give yourself permission to take time in.
Give yourself permission to cry.
Give yourself permission to eat a cookie. Give yourself permission to feel disappointed, and to feel elated.
Give yourself permission to exist for your own sake.
With warmth,
J
