Eliminating the phrase “have-to” from your vocabulary is empowering.
Really, everything you do is a choice. Everything is weighing self-interested factors, even if such a factor is the avoidance of pain/punishment or the prevention of guilt.
Replacing “have-to” with “choose-to” puts you in the driver seat. It facilitates response-ability.
It also is respectful to others. “I have to stay at work late, so I can’t spend time with you,” is a sentence that signals a set of particular values and priorities. The person hearing this knows you are not powerless. You simply made a cost-benefit analysis of how you will use your time.
Don’t fall prey to the evasion of personal agency.
