What I love about creativity is that it’s always growing, iterating, and blossoming.

How wonderful that we get to build off of the thinkers and innovators of the past to continue to make new connections, weave new ideas, and forge new territory.

For me, as a passionate autodidact (self-driven learner), especially in the realm of personal development, it’s been a treat to weave two tools together, Internal Family Systems (IFS) and The Lefkoe Method (TLM), to clear limiting beliefs and create fast and permanent healing of childhood conditioning.

Parts, Needs, and Meaning

The frame of IFS – founded by Richard Schwartz – is that our psyche is a system of parts, each with its own thoughts, feelings, and needs. If you’ve ever seen the Pixar movie Inside Out, it’s a great introduction to this idea. 

Basically, the movie shows the main character Riley – an 11-year-old girl – as well as 5 characters: Sad, Fear, Disgust, Joy, and Anger. Each of these characters is inside of Riley’s head.

Each part of Riley has different thoughts, feelings, and opinions.

I’m sure you can relate to this framework. We humans are multi-faceted beings!

So, when it comes to limiting beliefs in your psyche, it’s helpful to realize those beliefs are not the True You, but a younger, perhaps wounded or guarded part of you, who is holding onto a story….

That story was hatched likely from a tough experience growing up. 

In order to get certain needs met, e.g. stay safe and connected while a parent figure was punishing you, you made meaning about the event. You did your best to navigate and make sense of the situation.

Yet, that story ended up wiring in as a belief. If left unprocessed, it filters and afffects your reality as an adult.

So to recap, a limiting belief is formed when a part of you wired in meaning during events growing up, in order to get needs met.

Until we connect and dialogue with that part of you, it will remain stuck in the past.

Did You Ever See The Story?

The basic way IFS comes in is by making it clear that the belief is not yours, but a child part’s.

Now, let’s look at The Lefkoe Method, created by Morty Lefkoe. TLM helps make it explicit that the meaning you made during childhood events was not outside your head, but inside your head!

Let’s take an example.

If you came home from school with an “F” on your report card, maybe dad got mad at you and sent you to your room. You felt overwhelmed, sad, and scared. 

So in your subconscious, you neurologically hatched out the belief “failure isn’t safe.” (This is totally understandable).

The thing is, if we were to revisit this childhood scene with a video camera in hand, what sights would the video camera pick up?

The report card, yes.

The furrowed brow on dad’s face, yes.

The bed and bedroom, yes.

The tears on your face, yes.

What about “failure isn’t safe”? 

Literally….did you ever see this story with your eyes? Could a video camera pick it up?

Nope, not there.

The actual concept didn’t exist in the sense data you took in.

Rather, you created it in your own mind.

Again, understandable, of course. It served you in the short term in some way.

But now, as an adult looking back, is it serving you now?

No…. the fear of failure is getting in the way of you pursuing your dreams, taking that risk, creating that new project, etc.

Since you cemented that belief, every time you have considered pursuing something in life, that subconscious part of you has been at play. 

Resistance, friction, anxiety, or fear have contributed to your inner, physiological state.

But when you communicate with the part of you that has a limiting belief like this, it has the chance to let it go, forever, quickly, and permanently.

15 Steps to 100% Clear a Belief

Finding and clearing beliefs with IFS/TLM for both myself and clients has been a game-changer.

Speaking for myself, the noise in my head has reduced by about 80%. 

I stand taller. My body is more relaxed.

I am way more comfortable in my own skin. I assert myself more.

I take things personally way less.

I am way more present.

I let myself relax more. Blocks about sales and money are gone.

I love myself more.

I have compassion for others more.

For what it’s worth, this tool has been second to none for me, in my 15 years of deep personal development work, (even including psychedelic-assisted therapy).

Below are the 15 basic steps for how to team IFS and TLM.

For simplicity, I frame it in a self-therapeutic context. Working with clients is very similar, however. Please know that in a self-therapy context, it’s key that you feel safe enough to run this process on your own. If you are less experienced with self-therapy, then I suggest working with a skilled friend or professional. That said, it is my deep desire to freely spread this tool to the world, so I am sharing it openly here.

1. Think about the current block you have. Let’s say it’s fear about money. Now, to find a relevant belief, notice your body that feels the block. Maybe it’s in your stomach. That feeling in the stomach is the part of you that has a belief.

2. Ask that part of you to speak. Ask him/her to tell you what’s going on. Often you will learn a lot of information from this invitation to speak.

3. Based on that data, suggest some potential beliefs to yourself, e.g. “making money is hard,” or “the way to be safe is to have money.”

4. Trust your gut. If the belief feels heavy, that means it’s true (for that part of you). Let’s assume that “making money is hard” is the belief that you choose to clear.

5. Ask the part, “when did you first learn this”? Let your subconscious give you the first memory. Often it will come right away. Just allow it to come to you.

6. Let’s say it was when you saw mom coming home from her 9-5 job, and she was stressed and tired, and started complaining that her salary was too low. Validate that it makes sense that as a young girl/boy, you would have concluded “making money is hard” is true.

7. Suggest 2-4 new interpretations of the event. E.g, Is it possible that it’s not that “making money is hard” is the absolute truth about life, but rather that mom had her own insecurities, fears, worries, self-esteem deficits, and unprocessed beliefs about money (which she projected out during that event). Ask yourself (that part of you), “is that a possible interpretation?” Or, “is it possible that making money CAN be hard if you don’t have any in-demand skills, but that it isn’t INTRINSICALLY hard? Is that possible?

8. Ask the part, “did you ever actually SEE the belief in that scene?” [No, you saw things, objects and people. You saw mom, her clothing, the furniture, etc. Stay on this step – stay in dialogue with the part – until it “clicks” with the part of you that it never actually saw the literal concept].

9. Ask the part, “if you didn’t see it, then where did this belief first occur?” [Again, stay on this step until it “clicks” with the part of you that the ACTUAL belief/concept/story didn’t first occur outside your head, but rather you interpreted the event to mean so. You made it up in your head!] 

10. Validate that it helped that part of you at the time to make this meaning, to try and gain clarity/understanding/comfort, etc. Really seek to identify the needs that this part of  you was trying to get met by creating this story.

11. Ask, “is it serving you now to believe ‘making money is hard’ is the truth in all situations forever? Or is it getting in the way?” Get concrete on how this story is getting in the way.

12. Ask yourself, is there any part of me concerned about letting go of this belief? If so, find out what that parts’ needs are. Perhaps there is a fear that you won’t put in the time/energy needed to create financial security if you let go of the belief. Assure that part of you that we’re not trying to say “making money is always easy,” we’re just trying to let go of the absolute idea that it IS hard. And to invite freedom and discernment over the idea.:)
    
    
13. (Optional/if needed), walk yourself through a visualization. Imagine your current True, Empowered Self connected to the younger self you once were. Really sending unconditional love, acceptance, and forgiveness for the situation the younger self was in, and tell him that you want him/her to know that s/he has the power to choose his/her own meaning about what happened when mom came home from her job. Let the young self that know his/her feelings of stress are temporary, and that they don’t have to mean anything. Really be present with this young self, inviting his/her empowerment to realize that mom was her own person, and that the young self does not need to take on her beliefs or her stress…..now, when it feels right, open your eyes.
    
    
14. After doing this deep work, clear the mind by saying a few random, silly, and clearly untrue sentences, e.g. “the way to be a kitten is to be a puppy.” ; )

15. Test the original belief, “making money is hard.” It will likely feel empty and meaningless. And/or, you will feel the clarity and discernment about it, recognizing that it could be true sometimes, but it is not the automatic, permanent truth in all situations. If the belief still feels heavy at all, re-work some of the original steps until the belief is released. Another tip to “shake the belief free” is to fully recognize that the feeling in your body literally has no intrinsic meaning. It is a sensation, that is all. And the meaning you put on it is in your mind. Therefore, the feeling doesn’t mean the belief is true.:)
    
    

In my experience, this process takes about 15-20 minutes, depending on the belief. As you gain mastery, you can adapt the process for your own style and needs.

Liberating the World

I want to build a world of wholeness from the inside out and the bottom up. I believe the world can be liberated when we focus on investing in ourselves, and doing so at the root, we can build new paradigms of health, wholeness, and joy.

I’m confident this is an innovative approach that can do that fast.

If I come across with any sense of hype on this, I empathize with that. I don’t expect you to believe me just by reading this. But if you’re interested in collaborating, please get in touch with me. I desire to bring this tool to the world as fast as possible. 

You can learn more in my guide, 5 Steps to End Negative Self Talk.

You can also learn more on ep. 6-8 of The Joel Bein Show.

Thank you for reading this. I am so grateful for you. You are whole. You are celebrated.

Joel