On the other side of conscious conflict is deeper connection.
If we can enter into the sweet spot of deliberate conflict, and move through its viscosity like a swimmer in a pool, then we can achieve trust, relief, closeness, and intimacy.
This means entering conflict from a place of both calm and curiosity. This means initiating the conflict on purpose, not through emotional whim. It means becoming insatiably interested in the other person’s perspective so you can see, hear, and understand. And it’s allowing yourself the platform to kindly assert your perspective, so you too can be seen, heard, and understood.
Just like avoiding the gym is easier and create muscle atrophy, avoiding conflict is easier and creates relationship atrophy. Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life.
There is no reason to manufacture conflict. But when there is something you need, or wish to voice to another, then use conflict as an opportunity for voluntary growth.
Knowing it will make the relationship stronger, you might even start to get excited about it.
