Energized and Wiped

I’m both energized and wiped.

I’m so friggin’ pumped to create the life and the world I desire to experience.

And I’m wiped, partly because I’ve been pumped for so long.

I’ve been pursuing my passions and aliveness for almost two decades now. If you count pursuing baseball and basketball before that, then it’s basically my whole life.

I love it. I’ve been on feverous fire in so many ways.

The wiped part is probably multi-factorial, but it partially comes from years of thinking I had to do it alone. Looking back, as self-made as I am, I wasn’t doing it alone, and I’m grateful for the people who have helped me.

But I was subconsciously thinking and projecting a mindset of aloneness. That’ll take a toll my friends.

As an original trauma response to a dysfunctional family setting, my self-determination was birthed to empower myself and channel my convictions no matter what it took. I’m proud of my scrappiness, but it’s a quality I’m actually ready to let go of.

Yeah, I’m ready to let go of being the scrappy executioner of tasks.

I’m ready to fully call in and allow in the host of teammates on my journey who get to come alive in their own way in collaborating and support the vision I have for myself and for human harmonious blossoming.

For me, from now on I simply get to draw energy from doing that which only I can do. I get to inspire the vision, (writing, podcasting, speaking), facilitate 1-1 (healing), initiate innovative ideas no one’s ever seen before (you just wait), and of course make art.

My vision is as vivid as ever, and I’m ready to live it.