We live in an advice epidemic. And we’re starved for empathy and independence.
When faced with a situation, dilemma, or big decision, we naturally want support from others. Advice is valuable, but only when the other person truly understands the situation. This first necessitates liberal amounts of questions to get clear on the actual problem.
Most people don’t do this.
So the advice ends up non-applicable.
But advice also skips over two other forms of support: empathy and Socratic questioning.
Saying “that sounds tough” is usually 100x more valuable than sharing solutions. We crave empathy, to be seen, to be heard, to be understood. When we receive this, we often naturally discover our own solutions from on top of that cushion of human connection.
Asking “what’s the worst that would happen if you did X?” or “why do you want to do Y” or “what would your future self say?” or “what are you afraid of?” are big picture questions often 100x more valuable than pre-packaged, concrete solutions. These questions invite us to tackle the issues independently and get clarity on our thinking, so we can find the solution that truly considers all the subtle, tacit factors that only one’s own mind can consider.
I’m not against advice. But I am saturated by it like an offer to go to the sauna as I walk through the hot desert.
