Below is on-going list of outstanding books I’ve read, mainly covering personal development topics. Listed alphabetically under each category: Self-Esteem/Healing/Parenting, Mindset, Relationships, Health, Finance, Productivity, Economics/Culture/Philosophy, Art Music, Biography, Fiction.
Self-Esteem/Healing/Parenting
Banished Knowledge – Alice Miller
Deeply truthful book that strikes to the core of childhood repression and calling out child abuse for what it is – well before her time. Contradictorily, however, she calls for state legislation as a way to punish adults who commit child abuse, sadly showing her own repression (what we need instead is a culture of empathy and restorative justice via voluntary markets – see Bertrand below).
Beqoming – Azrya and Benjamin Bequer
A raw and real book inviting you to embark on full-fledged journey of self-knowledge, inner healing, and living your Truest Truth.
Breaking Free – Nathaniel Branden
To gain self-esteem and individuation, one needs clarity and processing of the un-chosen circumstances in which one was born. Addressing the 24 questions in this book is challenging, but is instrumental in the healing process.
Complete Liberty Inside Out – Wes Bertrand
A clear, compassionate, and comprehensive take on what is needed to transform our species to live with trust, authenticity, and harmonious win-win.
For Your Own Good – Alice Miller
A dive into the roots of violence due to conventional parenting practices.
Drama of the Gifted Child – Alice Miller
Deep book showing that so often, tragically, mothers project onto their children the lack of unconditional love they received when they themselves were children.
From Coping to Thriving – Hannah Braime
Beautiful, holistic take on self-care and how to incorporate into your life by seeing your totality of needs. Self-care isn’t going to the spa; it’s connecting to yourself and becoming a Self-leader.
Honoring the Self – Nathaniel Branden
The world’s atrocities are not a result of a lack of altruism, but rather individuals disowning parts of self. Empathy for others starts with empathy for self.
How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk – Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
This book doesn’t strike the root for fully authentic parenting, but it gets close.
Letting Go – David Hawkins
Ethereal yet powerful perspective on letting go of unwanted sensations, and raising consciousness and freedom.
No-Drama Discipline – Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
Punishment is unnecessary. Instead, connect.
Parent Effectiveness Training – Thomas Gordon
Instead of the left-right political paradigm, there is another option, based on win-win. Similarly, instead of the authoritarian-permissiveness parenting paradigm, there is another option, based on win-win.
Parenting from the Inside Out – Daniel Siegel and Mary Hartzell
The key to compassionate parenting is to integrate one’s own childhood experiences so that as a parent, you can move towards a trigger-free state.
Parts Work – An Illustrated Guide to Your Inner Life – Tom Holmes
A short and illustrated book on Internal Family Systems therapy, which is a second-to-none approach to healing and self-integration.
Peaceful Parenting – 10 Essential Principles – Marianne Clyde
Simple introduction to centered, compassionate parenting. She isn’t radical about taking kids out of the school system though (she says kids “need to” do their homework). But helpful nonetheless. There is a slight Christian frame on this one, FYI.
Peaceful Parenting – Stefan Molyneux
This is the author’s Magnum Opus via 30+ years of philosophical and psychological knowledge. His strong focus on logical consistency bashes (multiple times) oppressive actions like spanking. He blows arguments, counterarguments, and rebuttals out of the water. This is not a ‘how-to’ book. It is a deep look at the truth that will stimulate the un-healed parts of you, if you’re not ready for it. His hard, honest tone, however, lacks the compassionate solvent that could make the truth much more digestible for most people. Highly recommend this book.
Punished by Rewards – Alfie Kohn
Detailed and evidenced account of the destructive effects of behaviorism on children, via parents and teachers, with an emphasis on rewards and praise. This is a radical invitation to nurture children’s intrinsic motivation to learn and grow. However, Kohn is hardly radical when it comes to new visions for education, as he is unaware of the elephant in the room – that government school itself is compulsory to attend and compulsory to fund – the ultimate extrinsic motivator. Instead of merely dropping grades from schools, we need to abolish government school altogether, and create new, voluntary paradigms.
Radical Acceptance – Tara Brach
Buddhist inspired yet practical book to accept “what is,” while shining compassion on self.
Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS – Jay Earley
Excellent guide to dive into Internal Family Systems therapy on your own.
The Art of Living Consciously – Nathaniel Branden
Are you aware of the full extent of both your outer reality AND your inner reality?
The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel van der Kolk
An outstanding and thorough look at the nature of trauma, which never leaves the body unless processed.
The Mastery of Self: A Toltec Guide to Personal Freedom – Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.
The son of the author of The Four Agreements, Ruiz Jr. carries the Toltec tradition by emphasizing the value of loving others unconditionally, by seeing their assumptions and beliefs about you to be projections, and not measures of your Authentic Self.
The Origins of You – Vienna Pharon
Deeply powerful book compassionately inviting you to dive deep into your potential childhood wounds —such as worthiness wounds, rejection wounds, and prioritization wounds — so you can free yourself from repeating patterns. Warm and vulnerable book from the author (I recommend audio version).
The Psychology of Self-Esteem – Nathaniel Branden
The fundamental choice is, “to think or not to think.”
The Rebel’s Guide to Freedom – Kevin Koskella
As children, we’re trained to suppress our inner, authentic desires and needs. This can later manifest as the “teenage rebel phase” where we act in (usually unhealthy) opposition to such training. Then, unfortunately, as adults that inner rebel returns to its box to become “well-adjusted,” back to fully suppressing our truth and freedom. So, what’s a healthier approach? It’s to integrate the inner spirit and to take radical, constructive action to live a life that makes us come alive. Koskella gives both the why and the how-to in this enlightening book.
The Sedona Method – Hale Dwoskin
Practical and specific approach to letting go of unwanted sensations, and raising consciousness and freedom.
The 6 Pillars of Self-Esteem – Nathaniel Branden
Essential, comprehensive deep dive into self-esteem, inviting one to live consciously, with self-acceptance, self-responsibility, self-assertiveness, purpose, and integrity. Clearly communicated through a philosophical and psychological lens.
The Whole-Brain Child – Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
Excellent, scientific-minded book that speaks in a relatable way. The parent is invited to consider the left-brain vs. right-brain, as well as “upstairs brain” vs. “downstairs brain,” (pre-frontal cortex and amygdala), all of which can gives insight into how to respond to a child in a given moment.
There is Nothing Wrong With You – Cheri Huber
All those voices in your head, saying you’re doing things wrong yet again? You don’t need to believe them. I love this book so much.
Without a Fight – Kevin Geary
This short book is packed with new takes on leading little persons authentically.
Unconditional Parenting – Alfie Kohn
Children need unconditional love. Kohn’s works are a great launching point to re-frame one’s parenting philosophy.
You Can Heal Your Life – Louise Hay
Our conditioned beliefs growing up do not have to define us. We can choose all of our thoughts. Yes, all of them.
Mindset
Anything You Want – Derek Sivers
The purpose of life is happiness, not “success.“
As a Man Thinketh – James Allen
Succinct, clear, and modest prose on how thought – for better or for worse – create your results and reality.
Ask and It is Given – Jerry and Esther Hicks
What if you empowered yourself to shift your feelings by consciously choosing better thoughts?
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself – Joe Dispenza
I sense Dispenza is on the cutting edge of human evolution (transforming one’s life through belief and visualization), even if the quantum mechanisms he asserts in the book are objectively off base. See my post 3 Reasons to Believe in the Law of Attraction as a supplement.
Don’t Do Stuff You Hate – Isaac Morehouse and Mitchell Earl
You can’t “do what you love” if you’re bogged down doing stuff you hate. So start by eliminating the latter.
Finite and Infinite Games – James Carse
Maybe my favorite book ever. Integrate these concepts and life is forever lighter and more playful.
Hell Yeah or No – what’s worth doing – Derek Sivers
Innovative short essays on how to think about what matters to you, and what choices you want to make.
How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World – Harry Browne
A hard to find book with a golden perspective on personal agency.
Linchpin – Seth Godin
Inspirational yet no-nonsense book calling you to go above and beyond. My review here.
Man’s Search for Meaning – Viktor Frankl
You always have the choice for your frame and perception of circumstances. Profound book.
Outwitting the Devil – Napoleon Hill
This book is so powerful that Hill himself wouldn’t publish it in his lifetime. It’s a haunting “conversation with the devil” that calls out the truth that 98% of people drift through life, and the way to succeed is to be a non-drifter who lives with definiteness of purpose.
Pulling Your Own Strings – Wayne Dyer
Don’t be victimized by others. Assert yourself. Even for the little things.
Quiet – Susan Cain
Introversion is a quality to be owned and celebrated. Highly affirming book for introverts, and highly educational for extroverts.
Rest – Why You Get More Done When You Work Less
An invaluable antidote to the modern insanity of busy-ness. Humans need to wake up and rest, (no pun intended), both for well-being and creative achievement. Unfortunately, the conditioning runs deep when it comes to the supposed nobility of pseudo-productivity (looking productive to the outside world).
The End of Jobs – Taylor Pearson
Written in 2015, this book evokes the entrepreneurial mindset as essential.
The End of School – Zak Slayback
K-12 school is obsolete and Slayback makes the case well.
The Happiness Project – Gretchen Rubin
I’m a sucker for tiny nuggets of how to be happier. Many that Rubin offers are good, e.g. learn a new skill, remember your friends’ birthdays. My favorite line though is, “One of the best ways to be happy yourself is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to be make other people happy is to be happy yourself.”
The Obstacle is the Way – Ryan Holiday
No B.S. This short book will wake you up.
The Road Less Traveled – M. Scott Peck
Fundamentals of living, and growing personally and spiritually.
Stumbling on Happiness – Dan Gilbert
Not a traditional happiness self-help book. Rather, Gilbert focuses on studies that show humans are often inaccurate in what will make them happy. Packed with wit and clever. I had heard many others recommend it, so I read it with high expectations, which then lead to some disappointment. I guess I mis-predicted my happiness.
The Master Key System – Charles F. Haanel
The OG self-help and law of attraction book, written in 1912, that inspired Napoleon Hill. Absolute gold. But you need to think and work hard to embrace the principles.
The Power of Now – Eckhart Tolle
All we have is Now.
The Revenge of Analog – David Sax
As the digital world continues to pervade, this book becomes Increasingly valuable in reminding us of the joy of analog experiences such as board games, physical books, vinyl records, and summer camp.
The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry – John Mark Comer
Written by a Christian millennial in an informal tone, this is a timely invitation to do what most people aren’t doing: slow down, and “let your body catch up with your soul.” I love the idea of returning to a sabbath, even though I don’t subscribe to a religion.
The Secret – Rhonda Byrne
The idea of the Law of Attraction is the perfect opportunity to ask yourself, “what if it were true?”
The Science of Getting Rich – Wallace Wattles
Thought substance permeates the Universe. Focus and fixate on the desired gains, choose gratitude, and allow the seeds to blossom with committed action. Does it work? Maybe it works only if you believe it works.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck – Mark Manson
Accepting a negative experience is a positive experience. Anti-self-help as self-help. My review here.
The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying – Bronnie Ware
This book was born out of the famous article Ware wrote, accounting for her years working in hospice and communicating with dying people. Beyond the touching stories she shares, this is also an invitation to let go, and become who you were meant to be.
The Tools – Phil Stutz and Barry Michels
5 tools to catapult progress in your life. The 5th tool is the best.
The Way of the Peaceful Warrior – Dan Millman
Inspiring part-autobiographical tale that invites an empowered, still mind. My favorite nugget of wisdom: “There are no ordinary moments.”
Thinking, Fast and Slow – Daniel Kahneman
System 1 – automatic/intuitive thinking. System 2 – effortful/critical thinking. Most people fall short in System 2, which creates pitfalls.
Why Haven’t You Read This Book – Isaac Morehouse, et al
Why not? That ought to be the question you ask as you contemplate your dreams.
Zero to One – Peter Thiel
Fascinating and radical business book on definiteness of purpose.
12 Rules for Life – Jordan Peterson
The parenting chapter is way off base. The remaining chapters are packed with value to show that you can take control of your own life.
Relationships
Attached – Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
Solid introduction to insecure/secure attachment styles in romantic relationships – more geared towards someone new to self-knowledge work. I find integrating their frame work with Internal Family Systems therapy is key: different parts may have different attachment styles.
Be the Person You Want to Find – Cheri Huber
Ah, projection. If each person in a relationship can own his or her projections, (and be curious about the other’s), then we’ve got ourselves a foundation!
Getting Real – Susan Campbell
Practical, digestible tips to be authentic.
Non-Violent Communication – Marshall Rosenberg
Revolutionary framework with the power to generate compassionate flow between individuals (and with yourself), by getting to the genuine feelings and needs behind a person’s words, and removing the paradigm of good vs. bad. “Beyond right-doing and wrong-doing is a field. I’ll meet you there.”
Radical Honesty – Brad Blanton
No BS, brash book telling it how it is, including the powerful assertion that sharing radical truth is the main cure for your mental and physical ailments. His takes on anger and expressing resentments are both very useful.
Real Time Relationships – Stefan Molyneux
The 2006-2008 Molyneux was brilliant in addressing needs for personal agency, honesty, and vulnerability. If you want to be free, be free to be honest in your personal relationships. This is a confronting book. But life is short, so it’s worth gnawing on this book’s truths.
Models – Attract Women through Honesty – Mark Manson
An admirable book that invites men to work on themselves, and be real, vulnerable, and honest in order to create trust and intimacy. Manson, though, still needs to fully integrate concepts of self-esteem and visibility from the Rand/Branden tradition. The highest intimacy stems from each party focusing on philosophically attained, virtuous values.
Some Thoughts on Relationships – Colin Wright
Unconventional, simple suggestions on how to effectively build romantic relationships
The Four Agreements – Don Miguel Ruiz
The Ruiz family is expanding my compassion for humans.
The Gifts of Imperfection – Brené Brown
Brown’s work on shame and vulnerability is powerful. Unfortunately she needs further clarity to understand the cultural roots of these problems. But I have plenty of text underlined in this book, namely, “love is an action,” and “lean into the discomfort.”
The Psychology of Romantic Love – Nathaniel Branden
Beautiful and clear insight on the conditions of romantic love. 2 major ones? Self-esteem and feeling fully seen.
The Surrender Experiment – Michael Singer
Rather than planning and “making it happen,” can we allow the flow of life to guide us? Teaming this philosophy with the work of Robert Fritz (The Path of Least Resistance) fuels an exciting integration.
The Way of the Superior Man – David Deida
Brilliant work inviting men to step into their true and healthy masculine, deepen their purpose, and support their partner with grounded stability and acceptance.
Tribe – Sebastian Junger
Not a relationship book per se, but indirectly, this book taught me to see the ancestral wiring we have for tribe, and to empathize with others (and even myself) in any “tribal pull” they (or I) experience. In other words, tribalism is often seen as problematic because of group think, understandably. But also understandable is the power of tribal bond and that people choose the comforting group over choosing the independent Self.
Health
Sleep Smarter
This is one of the few health books I’ve read (everything else I’ve gained from podcasts). Read it. Implement the action steps. Change your life. No joke.
Finance
Rich Dad, Poor Dad – Robert Kiyosaki
Fundamentals of financial mindset that school didn’t teach
The Bitcoin Standard – Saifedean Ammous
Excellent, well-written introduction to both the history of currency throughout civilization as well as the power of bitcoin and what makes it sound money.
The Last Safe Investment – Michael Ellsburg
I hesitate to put this in the “finance” category. All about “True Wealth” creation: maximizing your happiness quotient through symbiotically understanding each component of life. Invest in yourself.
Think and Grow Rich – Napoleon Hill
Yes, a burning desire for what you want is the first step to getting what you want. I love playing with the law of attraction even if it’s not objectively, metaphysically true. To me, what matters is if it’s useful.
Total Money Makeover – Dave Ramsey
Systematic approach to getting rid of debt and building wealth, through patience and consistency
Productivity/Creativity/Business/Habits
Atomic Habits – James Clear
Nuts and bolts breakdown of how tiny habits help you improve 1% a day. My full review here.
A World Without Email – Cal Newport
At the birth of the Information Age, email blew up. Like many technologies, we all saw the benefits but few have seen the costs. Newport brings clarity on what happened, while also presenting a new paradigm that releases the stress of the “hyperactive hive mind” and increases real productivity and deep work.
Choose Yourself – James Altucher
Inspiration to go take care of yourself, and activate your creative juice.
Daily Rituals – Mason Currey
Short chapters detailing the routines and habits of great artists, thinkers, and doers. (Many took walks).
Deep Work – Cal Newport
A great case to consciously create time for meaningful, hard projects.
Digital Minimalism – Cal Newport
Not everyone is addicted to technology. A few have created boundaries. An invaluable read. My review here.
Flow – Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
Optimal experience is hinged on challenge, purpose, and letting go.
Finding Flow – Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
A solid practical companion to insert flow into daily life.
Free Play – Stephen Nachmanovitch
Play and freedom need boundaries and constraints, but not too many.
Getting Things Done – David Allen
Implementing this system has generated incalculable results for me.
Slow Productivity – Cal Newport
Do fewer things. Work at a natural pace. Obsess over quality. How can we create at a deliberately and not fall prey to the speed of the cultural current?
The Courage to Create – Rollo May
Thought-inducing book that integrates art, science, and psychology.
The Creative Habit – Twyla Tharp
True creatives don’t wait for inspiration, they instill life-long habits.
The 4 Hour Work Week – Tim Ferriss
Are you optimizing your time, delegating your tasks, and living your dream?
The Little Book of Talent – Daniel Coyle
Quick tips on how to practice effectively/deeply. Invaluable.
The Secret to Selling Anything – Harry Browne
Sales is about radical listening, radical honesty, and radical clarity. I’ve heard more than one person say “this is the best sales book of all time.” I haven’t read them all, but I’d agree.
The Slight Edge – Jeff Olson
A flourishing life unfolds with the key ingredients of 1% daily progress, course-correction, patience, and time. Invest in daily habits in health, self-development, finance, relationships, business/creativity, (and any desired area). Allow the compound effect to take hold and massive success will come about. Brilliant book.
The Talent Code – Daniel Coyle
Talent isn’t born, it’s grown. A dive into skill building: deep practice, motivation, and coaching.
Turning Pro – Steven Pressfield
Follow up book to The War of Art to reinforce the secret to true artists, entrepreneurs, and creators: show up daily.
The War of Art – Steven Pressfield
Overcome capital R Resistance to execute on creativity.
Who Not How – Dan Sullivan and Benjamin Hardy
A rare business book with high value; inviting you to see the possibilities of time freedom, money freedom, impact, and happiness that can come when you choose to hire people (Who’s) rather than trying to figure things outs for yourself.
Economics/Culture/Philosophy
Autobiography of a Yogi – Paramahansa Yogananda
This book blew my mind open, and I’m still churning on the metaphysical possibilities presented. This book is an example of how objectivist epistemology would help give clarity to the claims (e.g. levitating gurus), but also an example of how eastern spirituality – even if metaphorical – is sorely absent from western scientific thinking. Let’s integrate it all together, yeah?
Economics in One Lesson – Henry Hazlitt
If you read one book about economics, read this one. It’s short with very clear prose. The one lesson? All policies have secondary effects. This is the perfect place to unpack the reasons why minimum wage laws actually hurt the poor.
Manual for Living – Epictetus
You have more power over your attitude than you think.
Meditations – Marcus Aurelius
This is a rare self-dev book for me, because much of it went over my head. And yet, I know it was good. One key takeaway? Stop caring what others think because you’re going to die one day.
On the Shortness of Life – Seneca
Don’t waste time. Don’t wait. Life is now.
The Anarchist Handbook – Michael Malice
Malice is the most well-known living anarchist (voluntaryist) on the planet. In this work he gathers a dozen-plus anarchist thinkers over the ages – such as Murray Rothbard, Lysander Spooner, and Linda and Morris Tannehill. The latter give an excellent breakdown of how privatized police can actually work.
The Death and Trial of Socrates – Plato
First principles, reason, clarity, integrity. When you hear Socrates make the case that escaping prison after an unjust sentence would not be in integrity, it gets you thinking (then again, Socrates didn’t seem to fully question the existence of monopolistic courts).
The Sovereign Individual – James Dale Davidson and William Rees-Mogg
Written in the late 90’s, this book looks at the then emerging Information Age as the close of a 500 year era in which governments are at the helm, and the beginning of a new era in which the individual is. These guys predict the rise of cryptocurrencies a decade before Bitcoin was created.
Tao Te Ching – Lao Tzu
Poetic truths of balance and nature.
Art Music/Conducting
Casals and the Art of Interpretation – David Blum
Casals was a phenomenal musician who knew deeply that the music was beyond the notation.
No Such Things as Silence – Kyle Gann
A dive into composer John Cage on one level, a meditation on the nature of silence on another.
Of Music and Music Making – Bruno Walter
If you’re *only* a musician, you’re not a musician.
The Inner Game of Music – Barry Green with Timothy Gallwey
Powerful advice to “get out of your own way” while performing. People say the original Inner Game of Tennis is superior. I never read it, but I believe it.
Physical Expression and the Performing Artist – Jerry Schweibert
Expressive Conducting – Jerry Schweibert with Dustin Barr
Jerry Schweibert’s holistic movement approach to performing, in integration with deep preparation and in the moment-listening, is second-to-none.
The Rest is Noise – Alex Ross
Outstanding overview of 20th century art music in an engaging narrative.
Biographies/Autobiographies
Corresponding with Carlos – Charles Barber
Carlos Kleiber – the greatest physical conducting specimen to walk the planet.
Open – Andre Agassi
Incredible story going to the heart of intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation. Spoiler: Agassi hated tennis.
Fiction
Atlas Shrugged – Ayn Rand
A magnum opus. Any serious thinker will (non-dogmatically) incorporate Rand’s ideas.
The Fountainhead – Ayn Rand
Personal integrity is no duty. It’s all about happiness, baby.
Harry Potter 1-7 – J.K. Rowling
This series brought unbridled joy to my teenage years. Here is my ranking of favorites: 4, 6, 7, 5, 2, 1, 3.
The Alchemist – Paulo Coelho
Beautiful story to inspire you to pursue your own story.
The Hunger Games 1-3, (and prequel)– Suzanne Collins
Captivating trilogy that taps into the psychology of freedom, peace, collectivism, and the notion of “the ends justify the means.”
1984 – George Orwell
Sexual liberation as a symbol of creative liberation is an often overlooked message of this book. For what’s the antidote to totalitarianism? The individual honoring his or her own needs, and coming alive.