If you’ve read my previous work, you know I like the movie Inside Out.
The film profoundly yet simply demonstrates the notion that our minds are comprised of numerous parts. For psychological harmony, we need to accept and welcome all parts (even if we don’t know like them).
We learn this in the movie when 11-year Riley’s “Sad” part is finally accepted, seen, and appreciated. Once this integration occurs, Riley experiences uplifting relief from her deep sadness. (Louis CK has described it similarly).
Previously though, another part, “Joy” had been at the center of attention – always seeking to make sure everything was dandy – and constantly pushing “Sad” away.
“Joy” did have a wonderful intention: to make Riley happy!
But this strategy was akin to removing dog-s*it by adding air freshener. It didn’t solve the underlying problem.
And just like “Sad” needed to matter to Riley, free speech needs to matter to us.
Free speech matters because we need to welcome all parts, even if we don’t like them. Even if they are irrational, we need to accept the existence of thoughts, feelings, impulses, and ideas. Once we accept, we can analyze and determine their legitimacy and logicality. If we deny, shame, and shun, such ideas only build a pressure filled with frustration and resentment.
This isn’t about “constitutional rights.” This is about harmonious human living – a need, deep down, we all have.
Words are not violence. One can’t feel “offended.” When one is triggered, it’s often a scared child part who did not receive the safety, warmth, and unconditional love s/he needed.
“What others do may be the stimulus of our feelings, but never the cause.”
If actual violence is occurring, yes, defensive action is needed. But actual violence is also passing laws that threaten to shove people in cages for utilizing their vocal cords.
Those seeking to reduce free speech – politically or culturally – may have similar intentions to “Joy.” Perhaps they don’t want others to feel pain. They want a world filled with consideration for all human beings. They want a world absent of hate.
So when a controversial/unconventional/taboo idea is expressed, and feelings of surprise, appall, anger, fear, confusion, and overwhelm arise, “Joy” wants to swoop in and eliminate all that – both the feelings themselves, and the words that stimulated them.
But she can’t. The ideas won’t just disappear through sheer will. People still have their ideas. If they really are lousy ideas, they will never be sorted out unless given a platform, a platform on which to ruthlessly discuss and debate, until truth, understanding, and connection are established.
And the uncomfortable feelings, those are just indicators of self-work to be done.
“Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.”
Everyone has a need to be heard, to be understood.
When all ideas are honored, our human capacity for authenticity and connection is nurtured.
Wounds can be healed.
And once and for all, any leftover doggie-doo can dissolve itself.
