Our brain is designed to categorize.
And our brain is designed to form tribal groups.
So by default, we label people.
“Liberal”
“Christian”
“Fringe weirdo”
“Artist”
“Feminist”
“Entrepreneur”
“Conventional”
“Brown/Black/White skin person”
“Hipster”
Maybe these are not useless categories. They can help our brain make sense of the numerous data inputs people signal to us.
But the challenge is to transcend the automaticity of labeling.
That means activating what Daniel Kahneman calls System 2 thinking, or conscious, effortful thinking.
Consciously remove the labels from each person you encounter.
Or consciously avoid labels from the onset.
That means overriding the tribalist, biological programming.
It means engaging the volition of the pre-frontal cortex (System 2), and seeing that this is a human being.
A human being who was once an innocent, newborn baby.
A human being who will one day become a fragile, aging person.
A human being who has the same needs as you.
This means pumping up the openness personality trait.
Welcoming this person into your reality, with compassion.
Not taking things personally, if you hear things he or she say things that stimulate nervous or flustered parts of you.
Rather, accepting and welcoming those parts of you, then turning outwards towards the other person, and emanating openness and love for his or her humanity.
That doesn’t mean remove your own boundaries, or sacrifice your need for self-assertiveness.
It means acknowledging that every action another person takes is in pursuit to get a need met.
And seeing that you’re the same.
Keep identity small.
